“Bucky Larson” is as dumb as raunchy comedies can get

Alex Williams

There is no reason for “Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star” to exist. It has one good joke in its entire run time and this is it: There’s a throwaway gag at the end of the second act about Pauly Shore hosting the pornographic equivalent of the Oscars. And now that you’ve heard it, don’t put yourself through this film. If you were thinking about seeing it anyway, consider this: Do you like being dipped in sulfuric acid for hours on end? Because that’s what watching “Bucky Larson” feels like and it’s only 96 minutes long.

Nick Swardson stars as Bucky, a hopelessly repressed Midwestern youth with a hyperbolic pair of buck teeth and the mind of an 8-year-old with below-average intelligence. The film’s early sections are nothing short of mean-spirited, making spades of easy, uninspired jokes about the Midwest, the elderly and whatever else it can get its hands on. Thankfully, it’s not long before Bucky finds out that his parents (played by Edward Herrmann and Miriam Flynn) were porn stars back in the day, sending him on an ill-fated journey to Los Angeles to pursue the family business.

The film’s sole bright spot is Christina Ricci, who plays a waitress Bucky befriends in Hollywood. Even as she supports Bucky through a porn career based on his extreme impotence, she plays her paper-thin love interest with a dignity that the rest of the movie sorely lacks. That is, until the film’s script demands that she make a condom for Bucky out of the end of a straw.

The film’s screenplay, written by Nick Swardson, Allen Covert and Adam Sandler, can barely be called a screenplay. The other writers have publicly credited Sandler with coming up with the concept for the film, and at this point, one really has to wonder how low Adam Sandler is willing to sink. It’s not only that this film’s screenplay is a brainless exercise in sadism that makes premature ejaculation a plot point, or that there’s not a single character in the film that even closely resembles a human being. It’s that the screenplay displays a complete and utter contempt for its audience. This is a trend that’s been new to Sandler’s work, as he continues to produce mindless blather (such as November’s “Jack and Jill,” which features Sandler playing dual roles and cross-dressing), almost daring audiences to reject anything with his name on it.

“Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star” is a monumental failure on every conceivable level. It is a film without a redeeming factor, and there is no reason to expose yourself to it. Honestly, it’s bizarre that a film this terrible can be produced, and it’s no wonder that distributor Columbia Pictures let the film collect dust for a few years before dumping it in the stagnant period between summer and Oscar season. This movie is literally poison for your brain, and to put it simply: You will hate yourself if you go see “Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star.”