Fabulous Frank: Masturbation


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Fabulous Frank runs every Wednesday evening in Life & Arts.

Fabulous Frank

Masturbation. Most boys know it like the back of their hand. Or the front, rather.

Since about sixth grade, I have been pretty comfortable with the idea of self-pleasure. Unlike women, there really is not a stigma against guys touching themselves. It is a part of coming into “manhood,” or whichever phrase you prefer to use. Masturbation is the first way we discover our sexual selves, and it plays an important role in our sexual development and prowess.

Jacking off is an understood occurrence with guys, but it can also lead to some rather embarrassing situations.

I remember the first time my mother walked in on me. I was probably 14, and I thought it would be ok to masturbate after I had officially said goodnight to my parents. Apparently, forgetting to kiss my mom goodnight was my downfall. Luckily, upon her entrance, I was able to awkwardly arrange some things (guys, you feel my pain), and offer an embarrassing kiss goodnight. Let’s just say I stuck to the shower after that.

Coming to college was exciting, but I was legitimately concerned about having a roommate, especially considering he was straight. How would we approach the topic of having sexual partners over, much less, masturbation?

One interaction forced me to face this issue just a few weeks after settling into my dorm. My roommate went to an organizational event while I chose to nap instead. Waking up to an empty room, the opportunity was readily available, so I decided dropping my shorts was a good idea. About five minutes into the act, my roommate, sensitive of my napping, cautiously walked in and encountered a very different scene. Explicit details are unnecessary, but you can imagine my embarrassment. We weren’t roommates the next year.

Since then, I have explored my sexual being, both through self-pleasure and the real deal. Sex is great. Nobody will deny that fact. But, sometimes my partner just does not have that special touch. Can I expect him to? Probably not. Sometimes he does a great job. But there have been many occasions during which I've had to finish things.

As individuals, we know ourselves more intimately than anybody else. Masturbation can get redundant, but at the end of the day it still does the trick. When it does get boring, try something new. Explore your body and know what you like. It only makes sex easier for you and your partner, and it makes the climax damn good.