It’s kind of hard to turn me on.

I haven’t had sex, but I’ve come pretty close. Because of my lack of experience, I think I’m still a little foggy on what it takes to get me there.

Of course I know the kind of guy I’m typically attracted to — Google image search “hot lumberjack.”  I know some of the things I don’t like: your tongue all over the place. Keep that in your mouth. But I can’t name that one thing, like being dominated or intellect or intimacy, that makes me go wild. I even did some online research to see if I could discover the secret ingredient that’s missing in my recipe for a sexy, healthy relationship. 

He can’t just be tall and muscular, but that doesn’t hurt. It’s not just him making me laugh, though it’s one of my favorite qualities. I’ve had all those things, and somehow I still end up thinking about a recipe I want to try or if my paper due tomorrow is good enough. 

What I know is I’m not alone in this. Media frequently advertise the solution to “never faking it again.” Women are somewhat notorious for faking orgasms, whether we are bored, tired, uncomfortable or in a rush. There are a lot of us still trying to figure out what turns us on.

So what? We aren’t always going to have an earth-shattering good time in bed. Why shouldn’t we always strive for that though? Women, along with faking it, are afraid to speak up about what they want or don’t want between the sheets. The next time I realize something feels oh-so-good, not only will I remember exactly what he’s doing, I’ll tell him just how turned on I am.