I’ve never been not exclusive.

As said a hundred times, I started dating my partner a long long time ago and we’ve been exclusive ever since. At one point, early on, before he had asked me to be his girlfriend officially, I was curious as to what our status would be. 

“Are you seeing anyone else?” I asked.

He was wounded and we’ve been exclusive ever since. And really that’s to my benefit. If I had to find a different sexual partner every time I needed to have an orgasm, I might have every STI on record.

My partner is the only boy I’ve ever dated—if you don’t count crushes in middle school and a square dance in elementary.  He’s the only man I’ve had sex with, and really the only one I’m interested in having sex with. Sure, I develop fake crushes on people like Brad Pitt and my cute bartender, but those are simple attractions and nothing to act on.

Exclusivity is what drives my sex life. I love having sex because it’s so intimate. There is something so close and touching and real about having another person care about you enough to come make out with you even if they don’t want to.

There’s a difference between dating exclusivity and having sex exclusively. Some people have one without the other, but I’ve always had both, and I’m not sure I could do without either. I love having sexual exclusivity because I know that everything will be safe and fun, and I love the emotional connection that exclusive dating provides.

I have plenty of friends who have sex with many different people over time, or date several people, but that isn’t ever what I wanted. I always wanted a partner. I wanted someone who would go down on me whenever I asked, but would also come hold me while I cried on my bed during a hard week. 

I know that exclusivity means different things to different people. Some people need to test out many different options to find out what they like. Some people will always like to have more than one person, but for me: I was lucky. I found my person early, and I’m pretty happy only being with him.