Oral sex is kind of like cake. If it’s baked correctly then it is delectably satisfying and you can’t get enough. If it’s not… well, it can just be a little gross and unpleasant.

I remember the first time I received good oral sex. I had a few other encounters that were all right, but this young man brought the oral sex experience to a new level. He was like the giving tree of oral sex. I gave him this endearing nickname because the use of his tongue was sincerely a gift. A gift that gave over and over and over again. He was the first guy to bring me to a truly mind-blowing, life-altering climax. I honestly didn’t even know pleasure like that was physically possible.

As for the giving side of things, I actually didn’t give my first blowjob until a few months into college. It always grossed me out in high school. Like, seriously, who wants to put that in your mouth? But I gained some insight from semi-awkward drunk conversations with my girlfriends and became decent (okay, pretty fantastic) at the art of oral sex.

I do find some enjoyment in pleasuring a man this way, but overall, I’m not a fan of oral sex. To me it feels very disconnected and almost isolating. I like sex because it’s a special, passionate connection between two people. I have sex with my friends because it’s fun. I don’t hook up with random people in the club because I don’t have a personal bond with them. I enjoy the feeling of two people coming together as one in a primal passion. Oral sex kind of leaves the receiver hanging out by himself or herself while their partner is hard at work. That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy it (trust me, I do) but I like to stick to more intimate contact…. and of course I’m always down for a little 69.