Growing up on the beautiful island of Hawaii, Sallie Finkel, UT alumna and local Austinite, spent a lot of time with her grandmother. Family dinners and socializing were common occurrences until her grandmother started to forget. As a mother of two, Finkel attributes her grandmother’s legacy to the way she connects with her children.
“物の哀れ (Mono no aware), it translates as the sweet sorrow of impermanence, the realization that everything beautiful will pass,” Finkel said. “It has been one year since my grandmother forgot who I am.”
On Oct. 2, Westlake Storytellers, a storytelling group in Austin, held their “Before I Forget” event, partnering with Memory Caregivers Academy of Austin, an academy offering opportunities in effective caregiving. The event highlighted stories from four individuals, each touched by the effects of memory loss.
Designed to bond over shared experiences, Debbie Wilder, the executive director of the Memory Caregivers Academy of Austin, aimed for the event to increase volunteer and caregiver turnout at the academy. Wilder stepped into the world of memory loss after her grandmother was placed into a facility, starting the academy on Sept. 18, 2001.
“We went home and thought it would be good to do something positive in the world,” Wilder said. “So we agreed to move forward (with the academy).”
Through interactions at Westlake Hills Presbyterian Church and various community events, Wilder and Stephen Finkel, the co-producer of Westlake Storytelling, collaborated to create a community-centered event that uplifted caregivers, storytellers and patients alike.
“One of my favorite authors talks about (stories) as good medicine,” Stephen Finkel said. “There are all kinds of medications out there for our souls, and stories are just the most nurturing ones for us.”
Each speaker had their own experiences dealing with memory care: Debbie as a director, Miles as a father, Jim as a son-in-law and Sallie as a granddaughter. Yet, the one component connecting them is their interconnectedness and resilience.
Transfixed with a sense of community, the audience raised their hands, a physical demonstration of those affected by memory loss. Not a single hand stayed down.
“One of our good friends was one of the speakers tonight,” Linda Rose, who attended the event with her husband Brian, said. “We heard he was going to be the speaker, and said, ‘We’re going to support you,’ and we have been to other (events) and really enjoy (them).”
Overall, the theme “Before I Forget” left a lasting effect, the shared appreciation of remembering and being remembered.
“Just as I calmed my daughters by holding them on my chest when they came into the world, I want them to calm my fears by holding me on my way out,” Finkel said. “So that in my last breath, I will remember.”
