Nicholas Kingman, Double Coverage Editor
Folks here in the Lone Star State love to harp on Texas A&M being the institution that harbors the UT rejects, but let’s not forget OU is another one.
Dallasites, wanting to be different, make the wild and exotic move to that plain hellscape of Norman, Oklahoma, because they must have a college experience and are too good, like the other dummies in this state, to spend four years in Lubbock.
I’ll admit, y’all have a wonderful journalism school, but when I took a trip for a tour of the campus, I got out of there as soon as I could. Damn, Oklahoma is a boring little place. I dealt with an internment year at some commuter school, rather than spending a single day at OU.
I was going to play more into a “Grapes of Wrath” reference, but I know you guys do not read books up there.
Lauren Hightower, Sports Editor
How is anyone supposed to be scared of a defensive line that’s nicknamed itself the “Dog Pound”? Dogs in a pound are literally the rejects of the dog world, and if they are there a long time, they are put down. Is that what you want? To be put down?
We get that y’all are supposed to be good and all, but like, come on. What are you, Georgia? Are you going to start barking across the line of scrimmage? That’s all Oklahoma would need to become even more insufferable: barking fans.
Meaghan English, Associate Sports Editor
I think the biggest issue I have with Oklahoma right now is putting redshirt junior quarterback John Mateer back on the field less than three weeks after he had hand surgery.
I could talk about Norman being in the middle of nowhere. I could talk about your lack of a distinguishable hand gesture besides horns down (and some other obscene gestures I don’t care to name). I could talk about the 77% acceptance rate.
But I won’t. I won’t mention all of the above because it pales in comparison to throwing Mateer back onto the field in the wake of a literal bone injury just to try and beat Texas. I guess if another injury destroys Mateer’s career, he’ll have the Sooners to thank. Thank God for the transfer portal indeed!
Zach Davis, Sports Desk Editor
Your city sounds like it was named by my weird uncle. Where is Norman? What is a Sooner? Research University? I bet 77% of you didn’t even know that. 77%. Lol.
What’s in Norman? Where is my uncle these days? Is it weird that the Cotton Bowl is still called the Cotton Bowl? I’m stuck in confusion. It tends to happen when I think about OU. My brain hurts.
Alistair Manliguez, Senior Sports Reporter
Just like our little brothers over there in College Station, you guys in Oklahoma have a bad habit of throwing the “Horns Down” hand sign instead of your own school’s. It’s kind of funny that I had to search up the Oklahoma hand sign to even learn what it was and that half the pictures were the “Horns Down.” So I ask, what is your hand sign?
Do you guys not have any pride up there, or I guess there is nothing to be prideful over there, right? I mean, I would be miserable too if I had to come home every break and tell people that I went to Oklahoma.
Anyway, I know one too many people who go to OU and I always ask myself the same question — what is a Sooner and what is in Norman, Oklahoma?
Sophia Sandoval, Senior Sports Reporter
Norman, Oklahoma: where hopes and dreams go to die. I know y’all are supposed to be good this year or whatever, but every Sooner fan says “this is our year,” every season, like it is a personality trait just to be out of the playoff contention by November.
Don’t get me started on that gaudy crimson. News flash! It doesn’t look as cute as you think it does. I know you Sooner girlies spent months planning your gameday fits just to watch your team lose season after season.
Tyler Firtel, Senior Sports Reporter
The only cool things to come from Oklahoma are the Broadway musical, Sam Presti, the Oklahoma City Thunder general manager’s, roster-building masterclass and actor Brad Pitt. That’s it. I would write more, but I know nothing about Norman.
