Gifts Adrian Peterson should have given his offensive line


After Adrian Peterson’s nearly record-shattering 2012 rushing campaign, one can’t help but feel a little disappointed about his effort so far this year. While he has put together a solid showing so far, his numbers pale in comparison to last year’s.

It’s hard to complain with a player like Peterson — even his slightly disappointing numbers this year would be a dream for most other running backs in the NFL. But yet, here we are — after last season’s incredible performance coming off an ACL tear, we were hoping for a little bit more.

Maybe it’s not all Peterson’s fault. The Vikings have only a single win on the season, and he has very little help on the offensive side of the ball. It has come to the point where Peterson is nearly the only threat coming out of the Minnesota offense. 

But Peterson is a loving, generous person, so despite the team’s struggles this far — and despite his 13 carries for 28 yards in his last game against the lowly New York Giants — Peterson got his entire offensive line snowmobiles as a thank-you for their help during last year’s campaign.

With the O-line’s struggles so far this year (how hard is it to clear a path for a human rushing machine like Peterson?), here are some other gifts that might have suited them better.


•    New cleats. Maybe lack of traction is the reason the O-line can’t plug holes for Peterson.

•    Peterson’s own ACL rehab regimen. Whatever it was that turned Peterson into the NFL’s version of the Incredible Hulk would probably be helpful for anybody.

•    The ability to walk on water. Who cares about football?  Give the game up and show off this trick taught to you by the man who is adoringly called “Purple Jesus” by his fans.

•    A new razor blade. I mean, look at these guys.

You know what? Better yet, stop giving them gifts altogether. Who in the world has a better job than Peterson’s offensive line? The fact that Peterson is always behind them making them look good is a greater gift than anyone could ever need.