Finals are almost here, so The Daily Texan wants to help you procrastinate to your fullest potential. What better way to avoid studying than to go out and take advantage of all the quirky entertainment Austin has to offer? Here’s an event calendar that will have you partying all night and feeling miserable for your 9 a.m. final the following morning.

Monday, May 6
What: of Montreal Aftershow: Easy Tiger and Gang Sign
When: 11 p.m.
Where: Mohawk – Indoor
Cost: $5, free for of Montreal ticket holders
If you can’t fork out the $18+ to see psychedelic rockers of Montreal, check out the aftershow with tunes provided by Austin’s own Easy Tiger and Gang Sign. It’s sure to be pop-rock-tacular, and it’ll keep you out till at least 2 a.m.

Tuesday, May 7
What: Austin Poetry Slam and Mic Exchange
When: 8:30 p.m. and 11 p.m.
Where: Spiderhouse Ballroom
Cost: $5
Feeling uninspired? Apathetic toward finals and, perhaps life in general? Head to Spiderhouse for some inspiration and energy, courtesy of their legendary slam poetry and hip-hop open mic night.

Wednesday, May 8
What: Spite Club – The Insult Comedy Game Show
When: Doors at 9 p.m., show at 10 p.m.
Where: Red 7
Cost: Free for 21+, $5 for under 21
Local comedians go head-to-head in insult comedy. Come watch some people try to be funny and mean at the same time. Who knows, it could provide you with the much-needed fuel to finally tell off that snarky T.A. 

Thursday, May 9
What: The Encyclopedia Show: Puberty!
When: Doors at 7:30 p.m., show at 8 p.m.
Where: North Door Main Stage
Cost: $5
Each monthly edition of The Encyclopedia Show is a hodgepodge of creative presentations on a theme taken from “an actual encyclopedia.” This month’s theme is that magically cringe-inducing phase known as puberty. If you just can’t get enough of something you went through in middle school, then this is the show for you. 

Friday, May 10
What: Walking Ghost Tour – Ghosts of the Warehouse District
When: 8 p.m.  
Where: Moonshine Patio Bar and Grill
Cost: $20
Take a walking ghost tour around downtown and lose your ability to sleep for the rest of finals. You can totally spend all those waking hours studying and not worrying that a ghost or two followed you home and is now haunting your dorm room closet.  

What: Super Heroes Costume Party with Super Creeps: David Bowie Tribute Band and DJ Manateemann
When: 9 p.m.-2 a.m.
Where: Spiderhouse Ballroom
Cost: $10, $8 with a costume
If ghosts aren’t your thing, don your superhero costume (admit it — everyone has one) and watch a David Bowie tribute band at the Spiderhouse Ballroom. Also, there will be a disc jockey named DJ Manateemann, and that’s kind of amazing. 

Saturday, May 11
What: Rocky Horror Picture Show
When: Midnight
Where: Alamo Drafthouse Village
Cost: $5

Come up to the lab and see what’s on the slab! If you don’t know what that means, then you are an RHPS virgin, and you need to fix that ASAP. Lucky for you, Austin’s Rocky Horror live cast Queerios performs the cult classic every Saturday night at the Village. Get ready for a whole bunch of line-shouting, time-warp-dancing, “Sweet Transvestite”-singing, toilet-paper-throwing fun.

What: Animal Party – Second
Saturday Silent Disco
When: 10 p.m.
Where: Spiderhouse Outdoor Chapel
It’s a silent disco dance party, and you get to dress up as your favorite animal. Sounds a heck of lot better than studying, right? FYI, I’ll be the girl dressed like the quokka.  

Sunday, May 12
What: The Great Gatsby 3-D
When: 10 p.m. and after, various times
Where: Alamo Drafthouse
Cost: $13
Admit it, you’re mildly interested in seeing what has become of the highly anticipated “Great Gatsby.” But hey, 3-D Leo DiCaprio should be reason enough to check this out. Bonus points if your finals have anything whatsoever to do with “The Great Gatsby.”

MONDAY, MAY 13
What: Clubhouse
Where: The New Movement
When: 9:30 p.m.
Cost: Pay what you can  
By this point in finals, your brain is most likely fried beyond the point of creating any original thought whatsoever. So instead of staring at the wall, check out the Clubhouse, where you can watch 10 comics try out totally fresh material. It’s nice to see someone else on the spot for a change, huh?

Tuesday, May 14
What: Natural Child w/ Birdcloud
When: 9 p.m.
Where: Red 7
Cost: $10, $12 at the door
Wait – it’s Tuesday? And finals are over? Rejoice and be merry! Go forth to Red 7 to party with some dirty Nashville garage rockers. And then get some sleep. Seriously.