Committed Caroline: Masturbation

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Committed Caroline runs every Thursday evening in Life & Arts.

Photo Credit: Daily Texan Comics | Daily Texan Staff

I’ve been lucky enough in love to always have a willing partner, but that doesn’t mean I always want to share my pleasure.

When I started dating Committed Collin (that’s what we’ll call him) we were both virgins and too young and self conscious to deal with all of the feelings we had. I mean, I’ve talked about our first kiss, so you can imagine that I was a little more confident in my own hands than his.

We started kissing. Then, we started really kissing.  And all of a sudden I realized that I didn’t want to stop kissing. But we were young, and sex in my mind prescribed a commitment I just wasn’t ready for at that point in our relationship. I didn’t know my own body at all, so how could I be ready to share it.

So I learned.

Girls in Texas aren’t taught how to pleasure themselves any better than they’re taught where to get birth control, so I learned with my hands under the covers by myself. I learned where to touch and how.

Eventually, I learned to teach him. But for a while it was just me. I learned what I wanted before I expected him to do it for me, and—honestly—sometimes I like to enjoy my orgasms alone.

At his request, it should be said that my solo adventures are by no means because of dissatisfaction with my sexual partner. In fact, quite the opposite is true.  We have a really healthy, really enjoyable sex life. And part of the reason for that is because we are honest: my sex drive is just a little more accelerated.

In our relationship, sometimes we have sex because he wants to, and sometimes we don’t have sex because he doesn’t want to. But in the latter case, sometimes I still want to have sex.

He goes out of town, or isn’t in the mood, or I’m too lazy to leave my bed.  It’s nice to enjoy a night just the two of us: my vibrator, and me that is.

Sometimes, the three of us even have a lot of fun together.