I’m not an expert by any stretch of the imagination. I’m just a college student who watches too much college football and places bets he can’t afford — like most of y’all. This weekly column is where I will give you my best bets for the week in college football. I am not responsible for any money lost, so don’t request money from me on Venmo.

Last Week: 2–2

Overall: 14–5

No. 15 Texas(-1.5) at TCU

Hey Texas fans — stop freaking out. I know that sounds unreasonable, but come on. Even though Kansas may have felt like a loss, the only two actual Longhorn losses are to the No. 2 and No. 5 teams in the country. I wonder if the fans who are trashing Texas right now remember that a few years ago Dylan Haines was the starting safety, and the Longhorns hadn’t won 10 games since 2009. With all the injuries on the team plus the youth and inexperience, the defense was bound to have some growing pains throughout the season. The potential return of sophomore corner Jalen Green will definitely make an immediate impact Saturday, and a one-point line for Texas should be a lock. Don’t forget that TCU is struggling as of late — the Horned Frogs have lost two straight games, and three of their last four.

Pick: Texas(-1.5)

Marquee Matchup of the Week

No. 9 Auburn at No. 2 LSU(-10.5)

LSU might be the best team in the country, and Joe Burrow should definitely be leading the Heisman race. I’m not just saying that because the Tigers beat Texas earlier this year. Both teams have been excellent bets this season, with Auburn going 6–1 against the spread and LSU at a perfect 7–0. LSU looked dominant two weeks ago against a top-tier Florida team. Home-field advantage plus the Tigers’ 14-point win against Florida has me leaning toward head coach Ed Orgeron in this pivotal SEC West matchup.

Pick: LSU(-10.5)

Lock of the Week

No. 6 Penn State(-6) at Michigan State

How does Penn State go from being a nine-point favorite against Michigan to only a six-point favorite against Michigan State? Assuming that Vegas has no confidence in Michigan head coach Jim Harbaugh even though the AP voters do, I still don’t understand this line. Penn State is 7–0 against the spread while the Spartans are a lackluster 4–3. After back-to-back blowouts at the hands of Ohio State and Wisconsin, it’s obvious the Spartans don’t have the team to compete with the top tier of the Big 10. Look for the Nittany Lions to win big this weekend.

Pick: Penn State(-6)

Degenerate Gambler Bet of the Week

South Carolina(-4.5) at Tennessee

Betting against Tennessee is basically college football’s version of betting against Joe Flacco. South Carolina has played an incredibly difficult schedule, going against Alabama, Missouri, Georgia and Florida so far. Even though the Gamecocks are 3–4, I think their record does not give head coach Will Muschamp’s squad enough credit. And until further notice, Tennessee is still … Tennessee.

Pick: South Carolina(-4.5)