Physical touch is crucial for humans. This is hardly revolutionary news, but our lack of it should be. Exacerbated by COVID-friendly social distancing, digital interactions are slowly replacing physical ones — reducing in-person contact to a minimum. The most common day-to-day touch is a handshake. Whilst professional and respectful of boundaries, a handshake is ultimately formal. It hardly feeds any personal connection that humans rely on.
The loneliness epidemic, recognized by former U.S. surgeon general Vivek Murthy, highlights the public health risk of isolation to American individuals and society. Subsequent research from Harvard’s Make Caring Common project highlighted that 21% of adults reported serious levels of loneliness. Among 18 to 29-year-olds, 24% reported feeling “frequently” or “always” lonely.
College shouldn’t be a time of loneliness. If students are surrounded by people every day, why do we feel lonely?
“Across the age spectrum, we see that hugging promotes connection (and) increases oxytocin levels, which make us feel good. It’s related to higher well-being,” said Patricia Thomas, associate professor at Purdue University. “In this modern digital era where our connection is often not face-to-face, (it) doesn’t lend itself to as much touch. (That) makes it all the more important to seek out … physical connection with others.”
According to Virginia Satir, an American author and psychotherapist, we need four hugs a day for survival, eight for maintenance and 12 for growth.
While I’m not hunting down exactly twelve hugs a day, I do believe we should be hugging more. A 2012 study showed significant effects of physical touch on lower stress, lower heart rate, less pain and better sleep in critically ill patients. Studies show that a 20-second hug can significantly decrease cortisol levels, which relieves stress.
“Especially in the midst of midterms, sometimes just getting a hug (makes me) feel more relaxed, happy (and) confident, just knowing that I have people right by me (that) I can rely on,” government and economics sophomore Lyra Bolen said.
College students are often away from their families for the first time. At home, my parents insist on a hug before bed, which I was once reluctant toward. Now, I miss the ritual. Hugging someone is a low-cost, co-regulatory way of showing affection.
“It’s quite a transition to live on your own,” Thomas said. “There’s a (lot of) recent literature on how physical touch can help buffer against stressors. … We all know there are lots of stressors in college, so hugs can help buffer against … all the stressful things that are happening in your life and help you feel better. I think it can be particularly important when you’re in a new situation, like college.”
Begrudgingly, I’ve turned into my parents, and I hug my (also begrudging) flatmates before bed. Offering someone a hug is a low-cost, meaningful gesture, and getting told you give good hugs is a meaningful compliment. So the next time you see your friends, give them a hug!
Slimmon is a history junior from London, England.
