Official newspaper of The University of Texas at Austin

The Daily Texan

Official newspaper of The University of Texas at Austin

The Daily Texan

Official newspaper of The University of Texas at Austin

The Daily Texan

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October 4, 2022

Letters to players, ESPN randomly find Dan’s mailbox

Here are a few letters that somehow made their way to my mailbox. Surprisingly, all the opinions from these readers are very similar to mine.

Dear Tristan Thompson and Jordan Hamilton,

Stay at Texas. Why would you not? Everything is better here. You still have so much to accomplish as Longhorns, and with one of the top recruiting classes coming in, including Tristan’s friend, Myck Kabongo, you guys have a good shot at doing something at Texas that no other men’s basketball team here has done.

You have four more days to make up your mind. If you have to wait this long to make your decision, that may mean you aren’t ready to go pro. You don’t even know if there will be an NBA season next year with a possible lockout looming. What would you do if you had no season next year?

Think about how much better you can get. Think about how much hype you guys got this year and what another season together could do. You would be the kings of UT. You would go from a possible lottery pick to a definite top-10 pick. It’s not an easy decision. It would be a hell of a lot of money to turn down. In the long run, it may just benefit you more if you hang around Austin one more year and made some magic with Cory, J’Covan
and company.

— Sincerely,
Everyone at the University of Texas

Dear ESPN,

The NFL Draft is only one week away! You have only been discussing it four, almost five months now. We are sick and tired of seeing Mel Kiper Jr. and Todd McShay debate pointless stuff that they will end up having all wrong. You guys are really overdoing this. Draft coverage should not start until April at the earliest. What you tell us in January means nothing.

Remember when Nick Fairley was going to be the top pick? Now he might not be a top-10 pick according to you guys. You might as well get the World Cup-predicting octopus to go up there and pick its draft.

— C’mon man,

Dear Colt McCoy,

How’s the lockout? While you are out of work, can you come down here and help us out? Teach us how it’s done. We want to be like you. Last season was not fun. The season starts in less than five months and we could really use your help.

No one told us how much pressure there was going to be. You made it look so easy.

­— Love,
The Texas Quarterbacks

Dear Dallas,

Enjoy your time in the spotlight while it lasts. The Mavs, as always, are in the playoffs and the Rangers suddenly matter to you in April for the first time ever. Make sure to go out to the ballpark before it gets too hot. Make sure to watch these playoff games while Dirk is still around.

It won’t last forever. Don’t take this for granted because in a few years when things aren’t going so hot, you guys will see what it’s like again to not matter.

— Your neighbor to the south,

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Letters to players, ESPN randomly find Dan’s mailbox