It’s time for another year of second-guessing the computers and begging for a playoff. After so many years though, we should be used to controversy and a lack of clarity when it comes to these bowl games — such as, if Alabama wins, everybody loses. For better or for worse, here are a few slightly sarcastic and very judgemental thoughts on this year’s BCS schedule.

Allstate BCS National Championship: No. 1 LSU vs. No. 2 Alabama Jan. 9
The match-up we’ve all been hoping against. If you’re into touchdowns, stay away. If you’re into field goals, this is your thing. Seriously though, what’s the point of playing this game? LSU is clearly the best team in the nation, it has already beat Alabama and is the champion of the universe’s best conference. If Alabama wins, then you’ve just got big problems because LSU will surely be the Associated Press champs and the season series will have been split. That’s a tie, right? It’s time for a playoff.

Rose Bowl: Wisconsin vs. Oregon Jan. 2
This might be as intriguing a bowl game in the last 10 years. You’ve got the power of Wisconsin against the speed of Oregon. You’ve got two of the nation’s best running backs — the Badgers’ Montee Ball and the Ducks’ LaMichael James. You’ve got two talented quarterbacks in Russell Wilson and Darron Thomas. You know what else you got? A game that should be far more exciting than the one at the top of this page. If the BCS ever made a good decision, it was
this one.

Tostitos Fiesta: Stanford vs. Oklahoma State Jan. 2
Somebody call Truman and Stalin because we’ve got an arms race. Wow, that’s literally the worst joke I’ve ever told. I feel like the Alabama kicker right now. Somebody slap me. However, the Andrew Luck-Brandon Weeden should be the best quarterback battle of the season. Luck’s in the running for the Heisman Trophy and Weeden was too before his Cowboys lost a heartbreaker to Iowa State — their only one of the season. Thus, the biggest cry for a playoff this year was made by those one state north, who can’t believe that Alabama gets its second shot at LSU without letting anybody else take a turn.

Allstate Sugar: Michigan vs. Virginia Tech Jan. 3
Now we’re getting to the yawners. Virginia Tech loses by 28 points to Clemson in the ACC Championship game and still backs itself into a BCS bowl. Blame Houston, I guess, for losing $17 million and losing to Southern Miss last week. Michigan is led by Denard “Insert overused nickname here” Robinson, who can’t throw worth a lick but runs like a scatback: on 208 attempts this year, Robinson has rushed for 1,163 yards and 16 touchdowns.

Discover Orange: West Virginia vs. Clemson Jan. 4
For years, the Orange Bowl has been a joke. You’ve got the Big East Conference and its automatic qualifier to blame for that, but we’re lucky this year that it’s West Virginia who emerges from that mess and not Cincinnati, Louisville or Rutgers. The Mountaineers have a fun offense to watch and will be in the Big 12 in the near future, so this is a good look at them. Clemson has a dynamic pass-and-catch pair in Tajh Boyd and Sammy Watkins but, ACC Championship game not included, has a history of under-performing in big games.