Having a shitty day? At least you’re not the last person in “The Human Centipede”

Willa Young

For movie buffs, the month of October means one thing: 31 days of horror movies. With tons of horror flicks to choose from, The Daily Texan is going to be providing a daily horror recommendation. Whether you prefer ghosts, zombies or stark explorations of the human condition, we’ll be featuring horror films of all flavors. Check back every evening for the movie of the day. Just in case you were having a good Monday, we’ve decided to change that with today’s movie: “The Human Centipede.”

When most people think of horror movies, they imagine tense, anxiety-filled builds to heart-stopping twists. They keep you on the edge of your seat, often sending you flying off in involuntary terror. 

But I recently saw a film that was very different. Instead of shocking scares, I was forced to witness a disgusting tragedy slowly unfold, and I found myself sitting so far back in my seat that I was practically folded up inside of it. This film didn’t scare me per se, but it left me horrified. It was none other than the infamous film, “The Human Centipede.”

To shed some light as to how remarkably grotesque “The Human Centipede” is, one must understand the context of my first and only time watching the film. I was having a pleasant summer barbecue with a group of close friends. We thought it would be fun to pull up Netflix and watch a horror film. “The Human Centipede” was the first one we spotted. Without thinking, we clicked play and settled into the couch. 

Big mistake.

What makes “The Human Centipede” so inherently different from any other recent horror flick is the lack of psychological tension put on the viewer. There is truly nothing to “figure out” in this film, no suspense or plot twists waiting to be uncovered. It is simply a grotesque man attempting the most disgusting thing imaginable. 

The movie opens with insane Dr. Heiter kidnapping three tourists and attempting the most disgusting thing imaginable: surgically connecting the three from mouth to anus. No, I’m not joking. That is what you sit and watch for all 92 minutes. According to the movie, the concept is “100 percent medically accurate,” but I don’t buy it. Please don’t mull that idea over for more than a moment or two because your imagination will take you to the darkest, grossest places possible. 

Instead of watching the movie, you could have just watched the slow mood shift from the viewers on the couch that night. We started off smiling and laughing, but as we began to realize what was going on in the film, the smiles in the room turned first to confusion, then to casual frowning, then to shocking realization, climaxing with a grown man running out of the room to vomit. Yep, it was really that bad.

I find it baffling to imagine director Tom Six pitching the movie to various production companies. How he convinced anyone to sign off on that concept and actually agree to provide funding for it — twice, no less! — is beyond me. But perhaps that’s the brilliance of it — it’s so ridiculous, so unapologetically disgusting, that the producers knew it would make waves.

This is the type of film that makes you never want to eat again, and you may even reconsider privately using the bathroom. It pushed a strong-willed man to the point of explosive spewage. Whether that is considered an invitation to take a stab at “The Human Centipede” or a warning to stay far, far away is totally up to you. If you dare, beware and remember to bring extra barf bags — you could very well lose your dinner.