Junior swimmer Matt Korman entered the 2013-2014 season as the defending Big 12 champion in the 200-yard backstroke. The TCU transfer’s impressive showings at the conference championships would illicit celebration in most collegiate swimmers and motivate them to replicate their success in the upcoming season. But Korman’s accomplishments were overshadowed by deep depression as he grappled with the fact that he was not like most collegiate swimmers. 

The Houston native discussed the cause of his depression in an emotional email addressed to his teammates last week.

“It’s way past due,” Korman said. “When I was younger, I thought I was only curious or it was just a phase for me, but have come to terms that I’m actually gay.”

The email described in detail the internal turmoil that Korman dealt with as he attempted to shield his teammates from his true identity.

“I have had a hard time sleeping at night, eating, and have lost a lot of interest in swimming,” Korman said. “For the first time in my career, I was ready to quit swimming at the end of the summer. I simply couldn’t continue to hide this from you anymore because it was slowly killing me.”

In the email, Korman expressed the love he has for his “brothers,” and the regrets he has about his dishonesty. He concluded the email with an invitation to his teammates to ask any questions they may have and a prayer that they understand that he is “still the same me.”

Korman later spoke to SB Nation Outsports reporters about his teammates’ responses to the email.

“I’ve been totally blessed by this whole situation because it’s gone so well,” Korman said. “We have guys from the middle of nowhere conservative Texas. But they’ve been like, ‘We’re totally fine, you’re still my friend and my teammate and good for you.’”