The Daily Texan is struggle for power, Ping-Pong wins

Davis Clark

Oh, hey. Me again.

Look, I’ve been in this thing, grindin’, for two semesters now (yes, summer counts — got to graduate before six years or I’m outta the house). And there are many — well, a few — things that I’ve learned.

First, I should have been editor-in-chief, Claire. This isn’t personal, but I should have led that coup when I had the chance and the proletariat’s support. She was fine ­— frankly, this has nothing to do with her at all. It’s really a power-trip kind of situation — all this “Game of Thrones” and “House of Cards” scheming really made me feel like I could conquer the world from my couch.

Second, The Daily Texan isn’t really a newspaper. It’s actually just a front for the U.S. branch of an international high-stakes Ping-Pong betting league. As a whistleblower, don’t try to contact me any time soon. Just know that I am somewhere safe, enjoying the lightness of guilt released.

Third, kids are smart. Probably too smart. My writers kept trying to challenge my authority — “Should we really capitalize ‘his Small dog?’” I don’t know. Fuck off.

Finally, I like this place. It likes me — I got an award. Thanks.

Clark is an English senior from Lake Highlands. Follow Clark on Twitter @DavisClarkDT.