Hey, Brooklyn: Don’t mess with Texas BBQ

March 5, 2018

Get your mouth ready for this limp, gray meat.

Munchies, a food blog by Vice, posted this tweet on Sunday:

Why is Brooklyn barbecue taking over the world? https://t.co/aiemJpWxZw pic.twitter.com/dGPyQ7X912

— MUNCHIES (@munchies) March 4, 2018

What the hell is that, you ask? Only the end of these United States, that's what.

NY "BBQ" vs Cali "BBQ" pic.twitter.com/oxmZxDn53o

— StillOutcheaMike (@JustMDSJr) March 4, 2018

A simple slab of meat began a war amongst states.

Texas BBQ better than both https://t.co/x1ID9kQ2vz

— marc (@MGarcia_Rhodes) March 4, 2018

It’s clear Brooklyn has no business cooking “barbeque.” But what exactly does good BBQ look like? Texans soon did what they do best: jump into a conversation uninvited and brag about how great Texas is.

This is what a BBQ plate should look like. pic.twitter.com/Hk71rXTGck

— George Merritt (@gsm1060) March 4, 2018

And here are the shoes of said individual who cooked the food pic.twitter.com/KosgrUeUjT

— M’BakuChallenge Judge (@clifftothemound) March 4, 2018

You hand somebody a BBQ plate like this in Texas and you liable to get clapped. And rightfully so https://t.co/qNBt97zGA1

— #FreeRiceCritic (@TylerTexas19) March 4, 2018

It’s not. U must b joking. Look at that tray and look at this tray. Laughable. #Texas is and always will b King. #TxBBQ #TxBeef pic.twitter.com/cvdlKRpVqP

— Chef Ryan (@ChefRyan__) March 4, 2018

Austinites, in their never-ending quest to be cooler than Brooklyn, weighed in.

The Salt Lick BBQ in Driftwood, TX just outside of my hometown of Austin, TX

This is without a doubt what I miss the most about Texas. That and @HEB pic.twitter.com/CrtQ64AAb6

— SurePickSports (@SurePickSports) March 4, 2018

I think I’ll stick with @FranklinBbq pic.twitter.com/hSXOF0ls3X

— Jeff Folkes (@Jefffolkes) March 4, 2018

The Brooklyn tray is emptier than a West Texas landscape.

I fully admit BBQ snobs are the worst, but Brooklyn gotta step up their game if they want to claim superiority. One is Texas BBQ, one is a hipster tray. Which is which? pic.twitter.com/vW5amxYBRW

— Eric Vespe (@EricVespe) March 4, 2018

The outrage was bipartisan. Even Sen. Ted Cruz’s social media staff took a break from liking porn tweets to comment.