"In that moment, I knew that this night felt wrong."


Photo Credit: Helen Brown | Daily Texan Staff

Trigger Warning: Sexual Violence, Sexual Assault, Rape

Editor's note: This column was submitted to the Texan by a member of the UT community.

I have never told this story out loud, but here it is — written down on a computer for other people to see. When I was a sophomore at UT, I attended the annual ZBT/Fiji Halloween party. I willingly went home with a boy I met that night. When he asked me if I wanted to have sex, I said no. I didn’t want to have sex that night. Despite my hesitance and my clear expression of not wanting to have sex, he proceeded to try and have sex with me without a condom. When I told him to stop, he shrugged and said, “Seriously?” He put a condom on and kept trying. When I told him to stop, he kept going and asked me if I was “really going to make him waste another condom.” In that moment, I knew that this night felt wrong. When I was finally able to go home the next morning I was confused about what had happened the night before. I knew it felt wrong, but I felt as if the situation was partly my fault. I was drunk. I didn’t do more to stop it. I went home with him, so did that imply that I was going to have sex with him?

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Editor’s note: UT-Austin mandatory reporters do not have to report the story published here.