Trigger warning: discussions of mental health, depression, anxiety and suicide.
Olympian, actor and author Alexi Pappas talked to comedian and filmmaker Bill Hader at their 2021 South by Southwest panel “Being a Bravey” on Wednesday afternoon. The duo discussed mental health and how their own experiences have affected both their professional and personal lives.
The term “bravey” comes from Pappas’ bestselling book of the same name. In the book, she opens up about her experiences with mental health, from her mother's death by suicide when she was 4 years old to her experience with post-Olympics depression.
Pappas began the panel by reading an excerpt from her book about how she first met Hader when she asked him to be in one of her film projects.
“It’s always felt to me like celebrities live on a different planet,” Pappas said. “One I very much want to visit and maybe even live on one day too. And when someone you’ve admired from afar says your name, the reality sets in that you are both people living here on this Earth and could possibly cross paths.”
Hader, who was a cast member on “Saturday Night Live” from 2005-2013 and now stars in the HBO show “Barry,” talked about how his grandfather gave him confidence at an early age by encouraging his reading habits. His grandfather’s simple acts of kindness are still imprinted on him to this day.
“It was just a genuine showing of love and affection,” Hader said. “Like, ‘Oh my grandson wants this (book). I’m going to try and get it for him.’”
After talking about their mentors, Hader got candid about the anxiety he faces when on live television.
“It was just the fear of being on live television, which (is) very anxiety-inducing still to this day,” Hader said. “Last time I hosted (SNL), I (was) like a basket case.”
Hader later explained that he still faces anxiety when he does live talk shows such as “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert,” but he has found he can deal with the pressure of live TV by laughing through the anxiety.
“That day, I was fine, and then the minute I got on my mark before I went out there, anxiety was crawling on my face,” Hader said. “And I was like, ‘Alright, there you are (anxiety). Alright, let’s go out and laugh a bunch. Who…0cares.’”
Pappas also explained her approach to handling her anxiety.
“I have a sports psychologist I work with, and whenever I have an anxiety like that they ask me, ‘What's the worst part about this?’” Pappas said. “Usually it gets to like a core fear, and usually when you play it out, it's not that bad. Even when we think about trying something new and we're like, ‘I'm nervous, bla bla bla,’ it's like, but what's the worst part? That they say no?”
At the end of the panel, Hader offered advice on how others can deal with anxiety based on what he’s learned with his own experiences.
“The best thing you can do is manage it and learn about (it) every day,” Hader said. “And you'll always be learning about it. And each time you kind of get a better handle on (it)."
