I was raised in a family where the leaders are women. My mami, hermanas, abuelas and tias drilled into my head that I should never be ashamed of who I am. They’re the ones who taught me to speak in my native tongue and fight back against the machismo in the world.

I’d like to go as far as to say they’ve made me into the person that I am today, but that’s not completely true. Until recently, there was a part of me that I tried to avoid accepting for years.

I remember the day that I finally accepted I was bisexual. The thought alone would bring me to tears, and I would continuously deny myself the self-exploration I was yearning for. Thinking back to my preteen self, I denied my identity because I thought there was no place for a person like me in a Hispanic community.

It’s undeniable that Hispanic culture is built on hyperfeminine and masculine gender norms. However, I found myself in a different situation. I was taught by my feminist relatives to never let a man dictate my life, so when I was looking for a boyfriend I had to look for certain traits. He had to be intelligent, strong and kind.

I didn’t think these words of advice could apply to the girl I had a crush on in history class. I felt like I was going against what was expected of me. It felt like my family only knew half of me.

I convinced myself that being bisexual and Latina were mutually exclusive, so I ventured to find a space where I could focus on my sexuality. But what I found was an even more alienating experience. We, as a society, have progressed immensely when it comes to LGBTQ+ acceptance, but the community itself is overwhelmingly white.

While I had friends that understood my journey of accepting my sexuality, they could never fully understand the dynamic of being queer in a Hispanic household. I was juggling identities that almost seemed to contradict themselves.

As time passed, I accepted my two halves, but kept them at a distance from each other. I had dodged coming to terms with not knowing who I am. That was until I arrived at UT. My freshman year of college forced me to do a lot of self-reflection.

Being at a predominantly white institution not only showed me that there are spaces for people like me, but that I could advocate for them and make my own. I’ve been lucky enough to find friends here who have the same intersecting identities that I have. They’ve helped me feel so affirmed in my sexuality as well as in my culture.

No one should ever feel like they have to choose between their culture and who they have feelings for, let alone impose restrictions on themselves. It’s all about forming your own twist on who you are. Everything, from my mom teaching me to bake traditional treats to the crush that jump-started my bisexual awakening, is a part of who I am.

Embrace every single aspect of yourself because in reality, there is no such thing as finding a balance between opposing sides. Our identities are not meant to place us in boxes; they’re meant to enhance our lives with lessons and adventures. Take ownership of who you are and realize that every experience is meant to be unique. 

Leon is a journalism sophomore from Houston, Texas.