I routinely spent my freshman year weeknights writing stories until the sun rose. Ahead of my noon deadlines later in the day, I was quite literally a writer in the dark. I’m once again starting something the night before it’s due. 

The Texan has always occupied a considerable amount of my headspace, but I especially couldn’t stop thinking about it toward the end of this semester. I still feel terrified to leave — because what would I be without this paper? I wrote my first feature stories at the Texan. Half of my college years later, I’m cutting off a lifeline that raised me.

I don’t think I’ll ever regret staying in larts throughout my time here. This department gave me a plethora of opportunities — from covering two SXSW festivals to interviewing my favorite artist — and reignited my passion for storytelling. 

Fellow staffers echo this same sentiment, but I am truly only where I am now because of the people.

Zoe, thank you for pushing me to apply for SR, extending your compassion when I had burnt out and seeing my potential from the very beginning. Fiza, my first larts editor, thank you for pushing me to apply for department head and offering me so much encouragement and guidance this semester all the way from Europe. You will forever be one of my greatest inspirations, and I genuinely don’t know what I’d do without you. MT, thank you for drilling me to completely eliminate “dead verbs” from my stories. Although I’m breaking this sacred rule in my 30, it’s the best writing advice I’ve ever received.

To my associate editor Sage and desk editors Mimi and Aaron, thank you for being a wonderful team I could always count on. I regularly looked forward to our icebreakers and pitch slides. To my relentless SRs Trisha and Logan and everyone in larts, y’all are superstars. Thank you so, so, so much for your time, hard work and dedication towards the Texan. I loved watching you all grow as writers this whole semester, and please know that I’m just a text away.

Mantra, Kamryn and Morgan, thank you for believing in me as an editor and for all the laughs during maestro and budget. I’m honored to be under your leadership. Shez and Julius, I’m endlessly thankful for your infectious, vibrant energy in the basement. Lucero, thank you for graciously listening to my rants and frustrations about this silly paper. You will be an amazing EIC. Peter, thank you for having my back and for letting me cry in your office.

To Sara, Mirya and Anai, I miss our hangouts in the fall, and we should definitely try the restaurants on Sara’s extensive notes app list sometime. Yasmeen, thank you for making these past few months so much more bearable — here’s to further three-hour long coffee chats and spontaneous Austin excursions. 

Sofia and Kaiya, I’m extremely grateful that our friendship blossomed in this dreary, windowless basement of all places. I would lock myself here forever if it meant sticking with the both of you. Our Kerbey dates are the highlight of my month.

To UT AAJA — Hillary, Juleanna, Kevin, Michael, Dilen, Kaushiki, Alishba, Jesus, Hairuo, Teresa, Keana and so many others within and outside the Texan — thank you for being my constants, a support system I can go to without any hesitation and for teaching (forcing) me to give myself grace every once in a while. I am the best version of myself thanks to this lovely little community. I hope to one day not be as uptight all the time.

To my parents, thank you for putting every inch of your trust in me even if you don’t entirely understand what I’m doing thousands of miles away. I can’t wait to come home to you.Lastly, to 2019 Angela — who cried every day when she first moved to Texas from the Philippines by herself — your journey here was worth it. Nothing was wasted, and even brighter days will come. Magpahinga ka muna.