Editor’s note: This column was submitted to the Texan by a member of the UT community.
Just before my first week of freshman year, I had read a coming-of-age novel about a girl going into her first year of college. In the book, she ended up partying a lot, hooking up with random people and even started dating her RA. With this in mind, you could say my expectations for college were a little warped. What actually ended up happening my freshman year was completely different from what I had in mind.
My first round of midterms was a resounding success. When I took my second round of midterms, I bombed them terribly. It caused all these inner thoughts about how I shouldn’t be here, how I’m wasting my parents’ money and the university’s time by not being the smart person they thought I was. I was doing so good in the beginning, it didn’t make sense as to why I was failing now. As a minority engineer, I felt like I had something to prove. The engineering field is extremely competitive. Minority engineers are in this constant cycle of trying to prove they belong and burning out because of working so hard. The next round of midterms I studied so hard and stopped caring for my well-being. I didn’t do much better and I felt even worse both physically and mentally. My academic failures were starting to get to me and started conflicting with my identity as an Asian American.
As a Filipino American in the Asian community, I have seen how the status of the “model minority” comes into play a lot here at UT. This means good grades, fashionable clothing and obviously great mental health. That is blatantly untrue. Like everyone else, we also struggle with our mental health, so we shouldn’t be seen as these perfect people. Being in Pi Sigma Pi, a minority engineering organization, has helped me a lot with learning how to cope with not being perfect all the time. I remember my first general meeting, everyone was so welcoming and high energy, I felt like I didn’t need to put up the facade of “Little Miss Perfect” and I could just be myself and vibe. I learned through going to Pi Sigma Pi’s event called Mindful Moments as a freshman, that mental health is a process that needs to be worked on constantly. Ignoring how I felt for the sake of keeping up the perfect facade and trying to cover up how poorly I was doing in class really messed me up freshman year, but I was able to learn about coping mechanisms that helped me become who I am today. This is why minority engineering organizations mean so much to me and why I value my role as academic excellence coordinator because the organization’s focus on mental health saved me last year.
Minority students should be a priority for UT. We are the backbone of the community and we deserve to be seen and heard. In some minority communities, more specifically the Asian ones, we don’t really like talking about our mental health. From my experience growing up, my family did not talk about mental health disorders or anything like that. Focusing on getting the word out about what mental health disorders are and how help can be provided is vital to the success of the minority community of UT. We’ve been thrown into the back burner even though we should be a priority. I’ve seen how hard the Texas Engineering Diversity and Engagement team is working behind the scenes in order to help minority students after SB 17 got passed. The minority engineering community is a little nervous about what’s to come after this bill and the next bills that will come and get passed, but we will not be afraid to speak our mind.
Ramos is an engineering sophomore and academic excellence coordinator for the minority academic engineering society Pi Sigma Pi.
