Horns up: First day of class

After three months of doing absolutely nothing, the first day of class is here to bring purpose back to our lives. No more groggily waking up at two in the afternoon, no more eating an entire pizza while rewatching a whole season of “How I Met Your Mother” on Netflix, no more being dragged to store after store to buy upholstery with our parents ­— we’re back on the 40 Acres, y’all. We’re here to earn back our six-pack by walking all over campus with our textbooks, and maybe even learn something from those classes, too. But until then, and as often as possible afterward, we’ll be hitting that one bar on Sixth Street where we know the bartender and can get free drinks. We’ve spent far too long stuck in this state’s other lesser cities, and no matter what our old high school friends say, we know we’re in the right place. Oh Austin, we’ve missed you.

Horns down: First day of class

After three months of much-needed and well-deserved rest, the first day of class is here to make us question whether or not we really need this degree. Gone are the days when we could sleep in until two in the afternoon, gone are the days of eating a home-cooked meal or munching at our favorite local spots, gone are the days of shopping sprees at department stores sponsored by our parents — we’re back on the 40 Acres, y’all. We’re here to put on extra pounds from overeating during dreadful all-nighters, all while absorbing frivolous information about why the entropy of the universe is always increasing when we really should be listening to Frank Ocean’s new album instead. It’s just not fair. And when we do want to blow off some steam on Sixth Street, our parents always manage to text us things like “How are your grades?” or “Do you have a job yet?” Don’t get us wrong, we’re glad to be back. We just need a few weeks to nap first.