After an emotionally traumatic stint as a reporter and editor-in-chief of my high school newspaper, I told myself I would never work for another newspaper. 

I kept my word for a total of one semester in college. 

One day during winter break of 2018, I impulsively decided I wanted to become a graphic designer. I then began applying for every design opportunity on campus despite not having any experience. 

The Daily Texan was the only place that didn’t give me an immediate rejection. 

I walked into my design tryout with my only Adobe InDesign experience being from the intro video I watched the night before. 

I thank you, Mireya, for watching me hopelessly fumble around on the software and still giving me a chance. 

Kirsten and Mireya became my first friends at this paper. I felt like I could really make it here thanks to your kindness and support.

I also thank the infamous Design-Sports-Copy trifecta for keeping me sane in the basement and providing me with endless laughs as I sweat through deadlines. I cannot name you all, but know I appreciate you.

Christiana assigned me to double coverage in fall 2019. I may have been two hours late for deadline during my first week, and I may not have had a social life that entire semester, but I truly believe it was double coverage that gave me the experience and discipline to launch my career. And it’s all because Christiana saw my willingness to learn. 

I also thank Christina, Megan and Eunice for being such stellar senior designers/dogs/demons and for being willing to try new things with us. I am excited to see where y’all take this department. 

To every issue staffer who has worked under me: Although I was your boss on production nights, it was really me who learned from you. Thanks for being the best on-the-job teachers I could ask for. 

And to Sierra. My partner-in-crime. We became friends while finessing our way into Texas Creative and into the top positions of this department together. Thank you for letting my introverted self cling on to you at Texan parties and for sharing your love of Tyler, the Creator with me. I long to be half the designer you are, and I would’ve left this place a long time ago if it weren’t for our friendship. Here’s to Virgo/Capricorn solidarity. 

I am thankful for what this paper brought me, but to be honest, life at the Texan hasn’t been the same for me since the release of the D+I letter this summer. 

After reading through the letter and reading about how other BIPOC have been treated by peers and supervisors who are supposed to look out for us, I couldn’t help but feel somewhat guilty. 

As a first-generation Afro-Latinx college student succeeding in a University and a newspaper that has historically failed to serve my people, the guilt has never left me and has only gotten worse. 

I am a proud member of my respective communities before I am an underpaid designer at a college newspaper.

I’ve had so much success and growth at this paper while my BIPOC peers have to live with both the trauma of existing in this world and the trauma instilled on them by their peers and supervisors at this paper. How do I even begin to live with that truth? 

The answer is that I can’t. So I must leave.

To the higher-ups at The Daily Texan and TSM: You are not doing enough. The goals haven’t been met. Do better.