A recent research article posted in the Social Psychological and Personality Science journal by Lisa Neff, UT associate professor of human development and family sciences, found that during stressful times, people tend to focus on their partner’s worst behaviors while disregarding their best ones.

When trying to understand couples’ interactions, researchers have historically focused within the context of solely the couple’s relationship, Neff said.

“A lot of the research really focused on the qualities of the individual things like their personality, and also the qualities of the relationship,” Neff said. “Things like how committed the couple was to the relationship or how they communicated with one another.”

Yet, Neff says this research approach assumes the couple operates independent of outside influences.

“They’re not acknowledging the fact that couples live in broader contexts,” Neff said. “They live in neighborhoods, they have social networks, they have jobs and there can be a lot of different life circumstances that can play an important role in shaping how couples interact with each other.”

In the past, Neff has explored this more holistic view of relationship dynamics, specifically pertaining to stress spillover. She has done past research on how couples’ behaviors change when stressed. This specific paper focused on how one’s perception of their partner’s actions changes when under stress.

The research found individuals under more stress tend to focus more on the negative behaviors of their partners rather than appreciating their positive behaviors.

“It seems that people under greater stress seem to sort of clue in to what their partner is doing wrong in the relationship, and not necessarily what their partner is doing right in their relationship,” Neff said.

Through the findings of this paper, Neff says that she hopes to increase awareness of the role outside stressors play in a relationship.

“When you look at sort of everyday stressors, those things like getting stuck in traffic or just having a bad work day, we’re not always aware of the fact that those stressful experiences can carry over,” Neff said.

Ultimately, the paper is relevant in that it reveals an important aspect of how outside factors can significantly affect the condition of a relationship, said Hannah Williamson, assistant professor of human development and family science. 

“We live in the real world where things happen, and we have stressful days depending on what’s going on in our lives and in the world,” Williamson said. “Understanding how to help relationships stay strong in the face of those challenges is incredibly important.”