In 2020, Ashley Craig, encouraged by her veteran husband to seek support, hoped to find a group that would understand her experiences as a military spouse. She decided to join a program held by the Veteran Spouse Network, an initiative within the Institute for Military & Veteran Family Wellness at the Steve Hicks School of Social Work. The moment she met the other spouses in the program, she no longer felt alone.
“(Serving in the military) not only affects the veterans; it impacts the entire family, which is why getting support is so critical,” Craig said. “We often think of relationships as a house. (If) one of those walls is cracking, you want to build up the other sides.”
Now, Craig serves as the marketing development and training manager for the Veteran Spouse Network, which facilitates a community of peer support for military and veteran spouses and committed partners. On Aug. 2, the Veteran Spouse Network held an all-day Mental Health First Aid event for military service members, veterans and their families. Participants discussed recognizing the signs and symptoms of mental health challenges, listening without judgment, giving reassurance and referring loved ones to professional support and services.
“We talk a lot about non-judgemental listening,” Craig said. “A lot of times I use the joke, ‘I’m a tree,’ (meaning) I’m here (and) I’m listening. I just take it in. … Then you (can look at the) barriers they could be facing and see if you can conquer them together.”
Craig said participants also learn about the impact of post-traumatic stress disorder on military service members and veterans.
“You never know what is going to trigger their PTSD,” Craig said. “It could be a sound. It could be a smell. It could be being in a room full of people. … Going to the movies is difficult (for my husband because) it’s uncomfortable being in the dark where (it’s) so unpredictable what could happen.”
Amanda Barkster, a participant in the training and an Army Reserve soldier stationed in San Antonio, said she endured several negative experiences in the military and felt like she was being broken down emotionally.
Barkster said she wanted to protect others who experienced what she did. She began attending events about self-care, including the Veteran Spouse Network’s event.
“I was a little bit nervous,” Barkster said. “I didn’t know what to expect, but the ladies were awesome. They were welcoming (and) humble. They love what they do. … It comes from the heart.”
VSN outreach manager Jamela Davis also began as a participant. She said that her husband served in the United States Army for 28 years and that her family had to adjust to a new normal after he retired.
“Especially when they have deployments because they’re gone for so long, they have to get reintroduced to the family (and) the routine that we set,” Davis said. “(It takes) a lot of patience and love and support.”
Davis said that the VSN offered tools for communication, managing triggers and self-care and introduced her to a group that understood what she was going through.
“The VSN is like another family,” Davis said. “Even if you’ve never met them before, you share that common bond. … The beautiful thing is (that) it brings everybody together. … Even if they don’t say anything, they know they’re not alone.”
