As the leaves turn shades of fiery orange and crimson, a crisp chill seeps into the air, signaling the end of long summer days and the arrival of cozy nights by the fire. The weather provides the perfect chance for pumpkin patch adventures, seasonal baking and snuggling up to your partner while drinking hot cocoa. That’s why singles commonly search for companionship in the infamous “cuffing season,” a time during the colder months when people seek partnerships. The Guardian reports nearly 60,000 references to “cuffing season” in the first 10 days of October.
However, this promise of new love may only sometimes be positive. Due to loneliness and the fear of missing out, cuffing season can leave uncoupled individuals susceptible to prematurely entering relationships, which may negatively affect their emotional well-being and the relationship itself. Cuffing season should instead embrace more platonic and familial connections.
The concept of cuffing season pushes the narrative of loneliness and desire. Specifically, single individuals may feel undesirable since they’re not in a relationship. This societal pressure can harbor feelings of inadequacy and negatively impact mental health.
“It makes people feel very inadequate because you pass all these milestones,” said Vennela Mallampati, a government and Plan II freshman. “(For example), it’s another Diwali where I’m not with anybody. It’s another Christmas where I’m not with anybody. You see these annual milestones that contribute to feelings of inadequacy because you have a benchmark to measure your singleness.”
People entering a relationship early don’t have adequate time to develop a true connection with their partner. According to CBS News, over 18% of people admit they fear being unmarried and dying alone. The relationship may come off as superficial, as both people are just wanting a warm body for the cold weather.
“Part of the assessment when we first conduct business (with patients) involves assessing the individual’s support system, (including) relationships with their partner, family, friends and even co-workers,” psychiatrist Duy Tran said. “One of the biggest things as humans is that, generally, we’re social. Very few individuals can get away with being by themselves, but the vast majority, we have to have social connection.”
Social media only exacerbates the problem, especially with its targeted algorithms. As you scroll along your feed, it may seem like every post and story is another advertisement of someone’s relationship.
“(The pressure) comes from friends and social media because it seems like everybody around you is in a relationship,” Mallampati said. “It’s a little demoralizing not being in one.”
Falling into a relationship during the colder months isn’t inherently wrong, though. As long as individuals enter with reasonable expectations and good intentions, they have the autonomy to make their own decisions and choose what’s best for them.
“A lot of times, there’s nothing wrong with (cuffing),” Tran said. “You have to understand people get into these (relationships) for certain reasons.”
Instead, cuffing season should be expanded to include platonic and familial relationships. Love doesn’t inherently have to be romantic. If you can’t enjoy these colder months alone this year, surround yourself with the warmth of those you genuinely want by your side. Spend this cuffing season with the people who truly matter — whether they’re friends, family or a genuine connection.
Lam is a computer science freshman from Mansfield, Texas.
