Subtle flirtatious glances exchanged in class turned into friendly hangouts, bringing “Elle” and “Warner” together throughout the semester.
“It was one of those classrooms where it was curved, like a lecture hall. … When you’re sitting on opposite sides of the curve … you can kind of see each other, and there was eye contact that way,” Elle said. “There were a couple outside of class things that we did (where) we just chatted a little bit, and … there (were) just vibes.”
At first, Elle wasn’t interested in Warner, simply flirting with him in and out of class for fun. After a few weeks of innocent eye contact, the two began hanging out.
“We hung out in person a few different times … and the vibes were good at first, for sure,” Elle said. “I definitely liked having fun and flirting and hanging out with somebody new. Then, I just became so incredibly busy, and to be honest, hanging out with him was no longer worth my time.”
After deciding she was too busy to continue her fun, Elle broke things off with Warner. She said she’s not the kind of person to call or talk in person, so she sent a text explaining that she wasn’t “into it” anymore.
Warner did not, and has yet to respond.
“It is more awkward,” Elle said. “I mean, we’re in college. It would have been nice to get a response back to my text. I know he doesn’t owe me anything, but … we were friends at some point. I wish we could just be friends again, and it just feels a little bit unnecessary.”
Elle said people act differently in their classes together than they do outside to seem better than they actually are, including Warner.
“I would say (it’s) 100% (more difficult to have a crush on someone you share a class with) because a lot of the way that people act in their classes is honestly … a performative thing,” Elle said. “Do you look nonchalant? Do you look interested? For the most part, everyone is just doing it subconsciously.”
Meeting a potential partner in class feels daunting, especially because the situation can turn sour. It makes it even more difficult if it’s a small major because everyone knows everyone. From personal experience, connections have been shut down because of worries that it may turn a fun college experience into an awkward one.
For Elle, she wasn’t looking for a relationship, and still isn’t looking for one outside of the awkward rejection with Warner.
“The flirting is more fun when you don’t know the person or don’t have any connection,” Elle said. “You see each other walking around campus, and you have your campus crush, or you go out one night and you make eye contact with someone, and it makes you have just slightly more of a fun night. It’s more fun when it’s so fleeting. For somebody like me who really does not want to get into a relationship right now, it’s nice to not have any sort of strings attached to flirting.”
