“Clementine” and “Joel” met on 6th Street during her sophomore year, however as they went to different schools, Clementine felt unsure if a relationship would work. Joel, however, was determined to make it happen.
“I didn’t really take him that seriously whenever he was saying, ‘Oh, I’m going to come see you,’” Clementine said. “We definitely hit it off. That night, we were getting along great and having great conversation. He was somebody that I wanted to see again. I was just like, ‘Oh, this distance is kind of hard.’ I thought he was kidding when he (said) he’s going to drive more than four hours and stop by on his way, but for some reason, he really did want to date me.”
The two ended up dating for a little under a year, tackling long distance with weekend visits and phone conversations. Clementine decided to break up with Joel this past November after consistent arguments causing her to lose focus on academics. However, the two stayed in contact, texting and calling frequently despite lacking a label.
“I didn’t have the time to fix (the fights), or at least in my mind, I don’t have the time to sit here and talk about this with (him), even though I should,” Clementine said. “If I’m in a relationship, I probably should have thought about that before I jumped in… I was like, ‘If you’re mad about that, there’s nothing I can do. I don’t want to talk about this. I have homework. I have things to do.’”
Clementine, despite still having feelings for Joel, felt like the fighting was too straining, not seeing a purpose in maintaining their relationship. Joel, on the other hand, made himself readily available for when she feels ready to jump back into the relationship. Clementine made it clear to Joel that they are not exclusive, and she’s focusing on her academics.
“We both set some boundaries, and we’re just going from there,” Clementine said. “I don’t know what it is, but I know that now when I talk to him and now when I see him, I am more happy. … I know that I made the right choice for myself. … he was able to help me see differently and give me an option that I didn’t think was ever going to be viable because if somebody gave me that option, I wouldn’t wait.”
Learning from past relationships, moving on was very difficult, especially when the feelings of love were still prominent. Despite wanting to be with him, it made more sense to break things off due to academics and distance, however if love is strong enough, taking time to process one’s life and struggles won’t affect their connection in the long run.
While stringing someone along is never the right thing to do, people say distance makes the heart grow fonder. Perhaps this is the case with Clementine and Joel, but if Clementine doesn’t truly know what she wants, she should rethink why she’s talking to him.
“We’re both wanting a relationship out of this, but the emotions are … less confusing compared to whenever we were together,” Clementine said. “It’s so much harder to work towards something that you can see the end of, versus working towards something where the possibilities are literally endless, and they can turn into anything.”
