The names in this story have been changed to protect the sources’ identities.
UT seniors Alice and Matthew had been best friends since they met in their freshman year interest group. For three years, he was her go-to person, her best friend, someone she trusted completely.
So when he drunkenly took her into his bedroom one night after a party, tried to remove her clothes and forced himself on her, she let him.
“It was really aggressive and weird,” Alice said. “At one point, he just decided to have sex with me and there wasn’t really anything I could do.”
Although she tried to say no numerous times, he didn’t stop. And when morning came, she left before he woke up.
She didn’t consider what had happened between them rape. She started sleeping with him on a regular basis. A haze had set over her, making her think they could have a real relationship.
It wasn’t until a couple of months later that her best friend helped her see she had been raped. After that, Alice said she couldn’t look at Matthew the same way.
She decided to confront him. But when she brought up that night, he hadn’t realized he had done anything wrong.
“He had no clue,” Alice said. “He was like ‘I remember you saying no that night, but it didn’t feel real.’”
It’s been months since the two last spoke. Although she considers what Matthew did as rape, she said she would never report it.
”I feel like Matthew would hate me afterward,” Alice said. “I feel like people would think I’m overreacting and start victim blaming. There aren’t hard lines.”