It’s time to replace your wilted plants with fake ones

Taylor Newman

Maybe you don’t have a green thumb. That’s okay — I sure don’t. In fact, none of my roommates do. That doesn’t stop us from putting orchids in the kitchen of our duplex in North Campus. Our solution? Fake plants.

Face it — fake plants are the answer you crave to personalizing your space without killing your budget or those cute succulents that are so popular. They balance your desire for a greener room without requiring you to water or feed them. And admittedly, leaving the blinds open to give real plants sun can lead to you compromising your sanity with crack-of-dawn wake-up calls when the sunlight comes in.

The truth is, most students can’t be trusted to feed and water themselves on a regular basis. Inevitably, bringing a living thing into the house that can’t scream out for help is going to end in heartbreak.

After neuroscience junior Leah Salinsky mourned her lost bamboo plant, she said, “I have a tendency to kill plants … so I like having fake plants around because they make it seem like I can actually keep plants alive.”

Bamboo plants are deceptively time consuming, requiring a watchful eye to make sure the soil is always a bit damp. Most students don’t know how often to water or feed their plants, usually leading to plants either drowning or dying of thirst.

Neuroscience senior Kaya Rymarz has half a dozen fake plants in varying sizes around her room and supports students buying them as “a way to bring that extra kick of happiness into your life.” She adds that plants enable students to “make (their) safe space feel more alive.”

Plants are an excellent way to show off your personality and brighten up a room. Ignoring the fact they are alive and require your attention, however, doesn’t free you from responsibility in their death. Having a plant you can get attached to with no consequences is the morally responsible thing to do during your transition into adulthood.

There’s no shame in admitting you just want a plant to add to the aesthetic of your room. And with decorating restrictions in dorms — as well as fees for painting and hanging on apartment walls — plants are an attractive option to complete the look of your home-away-from-home.

Do the math: Buy one fake plant after move-in, and it’ll last you throughout college. Or, you can keep buying the real thing and watch your flowers wilt in time with your exam schedules.

Newman is a journalism junior from Frisco.