Committed Caroline: Flexuality Test


Daily Texan Comics

Committed Caroline runs every Thursday evening in Life & Arts.

Committed Caroline

Editor's note: This is the third in an ongoing series about sex and sexuality. Our four columnists represent four very different sexual experiences. Committed Caroline is the third installment.

Hello there, my name is Committed Caroline and I'm here to take this sexual conversation in a different direction. I too believe that sex and sexuality are important, exciting and sometimes confusing. But I've been in a relationship longer than Beyoncé and Jay-Z have been married.

I'm the high-school sweetheart that never got turkey-dropped, the girl who has only been with one man and the only one of my friends in a relationship. My column is here to breathe a breath of consistency (or maybe boredom?) into this thriller of a series.

Relationships aren't all "Revolutionary Road," "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" or even "The Notebook." In fact, I'm positive that my relationship doesn't have half of the plot points in any of those stellar movies about love or lack of it. I took the Flexuality test because, frankly, I was told I had to.

"What even is flexuality?" asked the man I'm with.  

"It's to tell me where I fall on the sexual spectrum," I responded.

Luckily, or maybe unluckily for him, the results were just as we suspected.

I'm straight! And sadly kind of conservative in my sex life. According to the Flexuality test, I have a tiny blue bar worth of sexual exploration with other genders which might account for my kissy nature with both men and women after a few drinks. Overall, though, I'm just straight and boring. But for some people, and some genitalia, straight and boring isn't necessarily all bad.

Sure, I'm the "conservative one," the Charlotte of our Sex and the City quartet, but I have something my counterparts don't a consistently high level of intimacy that normally pans out pretty well for me if you know what I mean. Sometimes it pans out well for me many times over.

In the weeks to come, I'll provide the settled perspective. I'll be the one to champion for a steady partner and assure you that things don't have to get boring just because your partner doesn't change. In fact, sometimes being committed can make things a lot more interesting.

Check out the next column in the series — Virgin Veronica explores her Flexuality Test results tomorrow.