Horns up, Horns down: April 18

Horns Down: Gaudy football lockers

This weekend, before our football team’s spring game kicked off, Herman’s crew dropped a tweet showing off plans for new lockers, which will all feature a 43-inch TV screen and reportedly cost $10,000 per player. In all fairness, they had to do something after endless hot takes about how a football program that generated nearly $100 million in profits last year was still losing.

The idea that we could spend the cost of tuition per player for a set of lockers that looks like they were designed for a dystopian sports movie from the 1980s just feels silly. But who knows, maybe Dylan Haines would have learned how to tackle if he could have watched replays of himself getting hurdled by Seth Russell. It’s comforting to know that advertising dollars from Longhorn Network and our Big Tickets are paying for this and not our tuition.

Horns Up: Get your tax refund

Speaking of tuition dollars, you may be able to claim those as a tax deduction when you inevitably file your taxes this afternoon after this reminds you to! Be sure to find the handiest free software and track down your 1098-T.

You’ve probably got plenty of options to spend your return on — your rent and groceries should probably be chiefly among them, but squirreling some money away for ACL tickets is never a terrible idea, and there’s always the option to bulk order $100 worth of brisket from Franklin to skip the line.

Then, make sure to file your return away somewhere in case you want to run for president in 40 years. Just in case.

Horns Down: United against United

Last week, United Airlines rightfully was publicly and internationally humiliated after a doctor was physically dragged off his seat to give seats to employees needed in Louisville the next day. Facing multiple physical injuries, Dr. David Dao is still recovering from the incident. 

“He said that being dragged down the aisle was more horrifying and harrowing than what he experienced in leaving Vietnam,” Dao’s attorney Thomas Demetrio said.

Somehow, a scorpion falling from an overhead bin didn’t even register as the second-worst piece of PR for them after a pair of newlyweds were also kicked off a flight.

Things could be worse for United. Their stock prices have crept back up to near a post-recession high, and they don’t serve Pepsi. But even if investors are willing to hop back on board, you shouldn’t feel any need to.