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The Daily Texan

Official newspaper of The University of Texas at Austin

The Daily Texan

Official newspaper of The University of Texas at Austin

The Daily Texan

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October 4, 2022

How the zodiac signs will handle their first day of classes

Bixie Mathieu

It is the first day of a new semester, and depending on your birthday, you may be ready to take the day head-on or forego academic pursuits in favor of a good Netflix binge. For a sneak peek into your first day of the Autumn 2018 semester, scroll down to your sign to find out if the stars are aligned in your favor. 


As one of the most responsible signs, you will find yourself waking up at a reasonable time to get to your classes. If you’re unlucky enough to have homework, you will complete it in time to meet your deadlines.


A rebel without a cause, you will roll out of bed resenting the end of summer with no one to blame. Although you will get to class on time, you will spend the majority of class with your attention split between Twitter and your professor.


Thoroughly invested in lending a helping hand, you will find yourself five minutes late to class after helping your roommate look for lost car keys. After your classes are over for the day, you’ll call your mom to talk about classes and family.


Excited at the prospects offered with the start of a new semester, you will arrive to class five minutes early. In true Aries fashion, you may find yourself committing to more than they can handle, between student organizations, sports teams and study groups. Be careful not to spread yourself too thin! 


Despite being kept up all night by your worries of what is to come with the new semester, Taurus will make it to class on time. In your worry, you have likely acquired every school supply known to man and aren’t afraid to brandish a highlighter in defense of your sanity. Deep breaths, Taurus. 


True to Gemini fashion, you will waltz into your 8 a.m. with Starbucks in hand, claiming to have been slowed by traffic. Unbothered by your own tardiness, you will spend the majority of class on your phone, tweeting about how much you don’t want to be there.


In the event of your professors leaving their Canvas courses unpublished, you may not even go to class. If the professor doesn’t publish the class, you won’t even want to go, as this directly conflicts with your philosophy of maintaining commitments and your desire to stay home. Enjoy your Netflix binge!


Being the most courageous sign, you are unfazed by the eyes following you as you exit the class you’ve accidentally been sitting in for 15 minutes — even though you are not taking American Literature. You are also brave enough to walk into the correct class 20 minutes late and stare down your professor who is giving you a dirty look for being so late. 


Virgo season is upon us! You will likely find yourself heading to class late, nursing a hangover from behind your sunglasses. After returning home for a nap, you will likely be getting ready to head out for another birthday bash. Just be sure to leave the ibuprofen on your nightstand. 


A classic overachiever, you will arrive 15 minutes early to class with their syllabus pre-highlighted. During class, you’re going to be the student pooling people together on Canvas for a study-buddy GroupMe.


You will make an honest attempt at going to class, but upon arriving on campus, all of your desire to go will evaporate with the high temperatures. You’ll likely buy some Starbucks in the Texas Union and hang out on the third floor, watching Vine compilations. 


On the off chance the weather proves favorable, you will spend the majority of class daydreaming about places to take their dog. Later in the day, you’ll most likely find them throwing a frisbee to their pooch in Zilker Park.

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How the zodiac signs will handle their first day of classes