For some students, it’s easy to find a place within a large group of friends at the beginning of college. It’s convenient to do everything together, from attending football games and eating dinner to cramming for exams. However, large group settings don’t foster close personal relationships as well as you may think. Despite spending considerable amounts of time in each other’s company, you may notice you haven’t gotten to know anyone on a deeper level. As a result, these once-coveted relationships can easily fizzle out.
We often hide behind the mask of group interactions to avoid the awkwardness of attempting one-on-one conversations. However, setting aside this time creates a space for stronger relationships. Although getting past the awkward phase may be tough, the experience can be highly rewarding by opening up opportunities for reliable and close friendships.
“(Seeking) a one-on-one connection with people is something that can be hard for anyone to do … but it’s going to help your mental health (and) you’re going to have better friends,” biology sophomore Ethan Gromacki said. “(When I was with) some people that I had become really close with personally, … I appreciated the people that were around me and the things we were able to do rather than just (being with) people that I (barely) know.”
These benefits aren’t limited to just your peers. Mentor-mentee relationships can also be strengthened as a result of one-on-one meetings as opposed to advising in a group setting.
Alexandra Wettlaufer, professor of French and Comparative Literature and director of the Plan II Honors Program, established a mentor-mentee meeting as part of the curriculum of one of the required Plan II classes.
“It means a lot to the freshman to have somebody older just listening, being there and being a friend to them,” Wettlaufer said. “With a one-on-one, you actually get to know that person as a person and as an individual, which I think builds trust.”
The mentee benefits from the mentor’s advice, and the mentor gets exposed to new ideas and perspectives from the mentee. The mentor’s guiding hand can help younger students navigate college better, creating a positive feedback loop of promoting personal growth for both parties involved.
Of course, there are many benefits to creating connections with others in a group setting. Working with others in a group is known to create better communication skills and help increase the quality of ideas being bounced around between people. However, it’s important to find balance and leave room for more personal connections. Group dynamics are not significant unless you actively seek one-on-one interactions to establish closer relationships.
No matter the type of relationship, increasing one-on-one connections can provide enormous benefits to both people. Reject the urge to only associate with someone in a group setting — go to dinner, coffee or a movie and strive to learn about them on a deeper, individual level.
Herman is a Plan II and psychology sophomore from Southlake, Texas.
